MOTM mkII...

I suppose that it is time for a splatter of brainpoo, in the interest of consistency, transparency and clarity.

After recording our last wee offering (3 track featuring SWYM MWYS etc) we had what is known in the business as a ‘hiccup’, which has caused the Mega-mammalian onslaught to be reined in somewhat. A few fundamental problems all conspired against our pack and culminated in Lord t’X Eckford of Tarn to lay down his mighty spear – Bane of mammut americanum – in order to tend to his stalagmites and stalagtites!

So this, along with the fact that, due to lack of concentration and effort we had dropped the ball with writing, meant that we were way behind our schedule as outlined by the ‘Plan’… which accordingly got wrapped round a turd, flushed away and was last seen just off Filey Brigg, bobbing merrily towards the continent.

Anyway all that this means for you, the gracious though plainly unwell bystander, is the following;

Stepping into the bass-shaped hole left in our hearts by his douche-ness Don Eckers, is none other than Will ‘Billy the Kid/Fisher’ Price… Now, while he may be essentially ‘Jailbait’ - being outrageously young, he is, nonetheless, a daemonically gifted player of the guitar and his not inconsiderable skills apply to 4 strings.

Having drafted Will in during my summer sojourn in the bowels of the Iberian peninsula, much groundwork was done by the end of September. Indeed, our collective efforts have been so effective that, at the time of writing, we have 3 songs on the verge of completion and another 2 hovering around the place in a state of readiness… along with the ubiquitous cornucopia of riffs, beats and ideas that clutter our work space.

Gigwise – we’re not planning on doin’ any shows until the New Year, simply because we want to concentrate on getting these final 5 tunes finished, at least. Once that’s done, we’ll probably be looking to gig the living twattery out of the tunes, which should reveal to us whether they are actually any good… then after that we may record something…

We’re still sending the CDs out for a laugh, so if anyone wants to review us you can either drop us a message and we’ll bosh you one in the mail or you can go to our reverbnation or bandcamp pages where you can hear all the tunes from our last CD.

As always, any help, money, blowjobs or interest would be most welcome so if you want to flatter an ego, consider us!

In a bit then,

b!x

Knew Seedy...

With surprising and refreshing swiftness, our wee demo has come together most satisfactorily. Though we have taken a good while over it, snatching sessions at Hiram HQ with Tuffnut twiddling his knobs as and when we could, I think it’s fair to say that we are quietly confident that this recording will put smiles on faces and definitely showcases some of the subtler points of MOTM… stuff that maybe got lost on the last recording (which was executed in double quick time…)

We stuck to our wee plan, were all determined and focused… and G was/is a godsend… and what we’ve ended up with is 3 tracks of prime-cut mammoth...

As mentioned in previous messages, the CD (available from the 24^th July and all other gigs for the extortionate sum of £1) will feature 2 tracks (“Kill Your Boss” and “Say What You Mean; Mean What You Say”) which we have already played at shows, so are not technically ‘new’. But the third track “Rumsfeld’s Unspoken Fourth Epistemological Insight” is brand new… and is, in my opinion, the most interesting and challenging of the tracks…

…but whatever…

…now the easy, fun stuff begins… the shows…

We kick off our short jaunt around the country with a steady hometown show on the 24^th… we’re on early – around 4 – so we’ll be having a good time, having a drink and getting our gig-heads back on before heading on to do Leeds, Bradford, Sheff. (maybe), Birmingham and then London… which is nice…

We’ll be playing a few towns for the first time and we’ll be all virginal, so please do come to a show and pick up a CD; we do try hard and I defy you to find a bigger bunch of show-offs… and that’s just me and Jimothy…

Peace,

b!x

Recordin-an-in-inge...

I have to say, it’s all goin’ well down at Hiram HQ... there’s been a properly good vibe as we try and smoke our way through the last of the Evilness and, I would say, there’s a definite sense of excitement about getting these new songs on tape...

The drums were laid down first, a couple of weeks ago... set up on a Wednesday and were finished by the Sunday. Luke seemed happy enough, and the takes were fucking sweet and Ol’ Tuffnut Turner got some awesome captures. Drums have historically always been a fucking ‘mare, largely down to lack of experience/shit gear, but we spent time working on the clicks, worked hard on the songs and had a steady and reassuring knob-twiddler.

And we are equally as happy with how the guitars are shaping up. We’ve split a signal and sent it through Ron’s Crate BV300 through his custom cabs and Jim’s JCM 2000 through a 2 x 15 cab, and, at Don T’s instruction, we’ve held back on the gain and gone for more rocky tones. At first this might’ve seemed a little counter-intuitive for a Metal band, but as we don’t tune down to the Brown Note and our riffs are quite choppy, the sound really works well...

Ron finished his track and Jim will be starting his soon...

Next will be Eckers – and I’m quite looking forward to it as we’ll hopefully be using Evil Dave’s Ampeg rig (8 x 10 + SVT head)... it should sound like nothing less than the end of the world...

Then, first weeks of July I get ruin it all with my wailing! I’m hoping to try some stuff out and see what I can and can’t get away with... it’ll be cool though; setting up a wee booth and some sexy lights in my home from home; working steadily with a good bud... it’ll be cool...

...now; not without cursing the whole project, I’ll just say that this CD will be something pretty special!

Can’t wait to get it out there...

More to follow...

b!x

For the record...

Yeah...

So in between trying to get people to review our first demo and trying to get a gig in ANY big northern city, other than Sheffield, we have been actually busy actually writing actual music...

We’ve got 3 new tracks to record, 2 and a half of which will be somewhat familiar to anyone who has been to a show... all in all I think we’re looking at around 15 minutes of choonij (that’s tuneage), maybe a wee bit shorter than the first recording...

The three tracks break down as follows:

Kill Your Boss: a bit of a mid-paced, workhorse of a tune with some nice little bits of ‘riff-recycling’, picking up themes left and right... dunno if it’s a tune for the pit, like, but meaty nonetheless!

Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say: plenty of speed here and a possible new opener to replace ‘Generalist’ which we’ve been starting with... not a blast beat in sight mind you, this is just a pounder... and it’s fun watching Luke die every time he plays it!!!

Rumsfeld’s Unspoke Fourth Epistemological Insight: Gobful for a title I admit, but this might change... (if you’re wondering find out about Slavoj Zizek and his take on Donald Rumsfeld analysis Iraq’s WMD’s... or lack of them...)... bit of a weird tune in that there are a few odd little twists and turns, and a mid-section that will break your back through mosh... feels good!

So... Wednesday night we are heading off down to Hiram HQ and we’ll strap Luke into his kit and tell him to be amazing or else...

..or else Eckers gets to handle his junk...

We’re hoping we get the recording right this time... last time we kinda just went for it without planning it and not really having any sense of how it’d all turn out... and if I’m honest, the first demo worked out much better than I thought it would... ropey as it is!

So we reckon this time will be loads better... Me; I reckon I’ve gotta pull something pretty special outta the bag because out of the few reviews we’ve got so far, ALL of them have said that I am a bit shit... some may have put it a little more kindly... others called me out by name and said I should get lessons... so yeah; better get practicing!!!

Let’s wait and see!

b!x

Slightly Forgettable...

Well... that was a weird couple of weeks!

Gigs have started to filter in for the 2 week blast we’ve got planned for 30^th July to the 15^th August... which is nice! Anyone who wants to suggest us to their local venue is welcome to do so!!!ha!

However, we’ve got a long wait and so we’ve been keeping ourselves busy in other ways...

Ron’s arm is coming along well enough – he’s a cagey fucker though, so it’ll probably be the case that we’ll not hear a peep out of him until he rags it to pieces again!!!

We’re merrily writing away. We’ve got 2 new tunes sorted, both of which you will have heard us play live. We’ve at least 3 in the pipeline and hopefully in a few weeks time we’ll have enough songs that we’ll be able to put the brakes on writing and get in the studio!

Also, we’ve been frantically trying to scrounge out people who’ll review our first demo... we’re not all 100% behind this idea... half of us are reluctant because we think that the CD is not the best recording in the world and then there’s the other half who are adamant that the recording – weak though it may be – stands up well simply because the tunes are so awesome... I’m in the latter camp and, accordingly, I’ve been collecting names and address furiously!!! Hopefully in a month’s time we should have a nice wee crop of reviews, not all of which will say we are utter, utter caque... or as our first live reviewer put it: “Slightly forgettable”!!!

Also, we’ve been thinking about recordings... the plan is still to rattle off a quick 3 track demo to push at the Summer shows, but we’re all aiming for this summer recording... we’ve had a few offers from people to mix it and a few offers to record it, including Lee Malcolm of the Vessels (who are recording in Texas as I write!) which is very cool...

...but the truth is we’re still up in the air about how to go about it, so no doubt that’ll be the next crisis!!!

So, the hunting pack stumbles on, not quite on the same trail, but tracking bountiful prey nonetheless!!!

In a bit,

b!x

Break/Brake!

Alright!

Once upon a time a guitarist called Ronaldo got battered and went for a merry jaunt down Blue John mine... well, it just so happened that the Mine had not eaten for such a long time and it’s favourite snack was Heavy Metal guitarists’ arms... no sooner had young Ronaldo started his descent, dressed in his shiniest sequin flares, 8 inch platforms and sparkly face paint, than the cave gave a mighty rumble and started to chew on Ronaldos arm...

...so basically something like the above actually happened, which means that all my previous talk of ‘The Plan’ was only true for literally a couple of hours...

Turns out that Ronnie’s arm will take about a month to heal and then at least the same to re-strengthen...

What this means is that we will have to cancel all outstanding gigs and have to relinquish the idea of playing shows until late July at the earliest. Now, while on the surface ‘The Plan’ may seem to have been obliterated, here at MOTM, we are far more conniving than you might at first think.

All it means is that we will now spend the rest of May, all of June and most of July writing new material and hopefully – hopefully – book some shows for the last week of July and the first 2 weeks of August.

We also hope to get some recording done. We have a couple songs ready to record and as soon as we have another tune nailed we will, again hopefully, head into the studio, record them bad-boys and release a couple of them on Myspace and put together a new demo to sell at the shows in July/August.

We’re all proper gutted as we all feel that in this short space of time we’ve played some really good shows and have been received so warmly by so many people that it seems such a shame to have to stop this freshly-set-loose beast in its very first steps...

We hope you keep an eye on us, as we will be pushing some bits and pieces (there is talk of doing a mini ‘documentary’ of us in the studio and perhaps some new artwork will be flying around), and bare with us...

In true Manly style, we are looking at this as a positive opportunity, as a blessing in disguise; come July/August we’ll be back with a load of new shit. We’ll give you all a wee taster, a glimpse of what the crack is, but then we’ll be back in the studio August/September and then in October will come the real push...

In the meantime, send money, sexual favours, fashion tips and anything that makes you dizzy...

See you soon!

b!x

"The Plan"...

Prologue:

There is disagreement amongst people about the efficacy of having and making plans… there are those who believe that having a plan is asking for trouble and an almost dead cert route to calamity…

On the other hand, there are those who suggest that having a plan, while never a guarantee for achievement, is a tactic to combat the fickle whims of fate and serendipity…

…

The first thing I want to write is a statement of thanks to everyone who bought a CD off us at the shows that we’ve played in the past couple of months… your individual squid coins for our wee demo have proved so valuable to us in terms of being able to part subsidise our fun… it is pretty cool to think that since February we have managed to shift around 100+ demos and that, directly because of this overwhelming generosity, we’ve been able to travel across the country to do a couple of shows without having to rape our feeble bank accounts!!!

…very fucking cool… ta!

We did Shitstock, a Roth show with our fellow slime-dwellers ‘Hand of Grief’ and we popped our Birmingham cherry with a show at the Old Wharf… for anyone who caught us, I hope it was plain quite how much we enjoy doin’ MOTM and that some of that energy and enthusiasm keeps you popping along to our shows and giving us the odd clap here and there!!!

We were due to play 2 more shows this month – 14^th @ Leeds ‘Royal Park Cellars’ and 23^rd @ London ‘The Gaff’ but unfortunately for different reasons these shows were pulled from under us and so we only have a Leeds show at the Well (used to be Joseph’s Well) on the 27^th… which means that since February we have FIVE (2 x Manchester/ 1 x Leeds / 1 x Notts / 1 x London) shows cancelled by venues or promoters (to our 1 - which was down to a death in the family)… I don’t know if this has to do with bad luck or the wider political and economic situation we are in, but the cynic might be tempted to suggest that other more inane and avoidable factors are at play…

I really hope this isn’t the shape of things to come and that as we get going we will work with all kind of folk as confident, as committed and as concrete as ourselves…

Whilst being pretty gutted about these cancellations, we remain unperturbed… and this is because we have ‘The Plan’… the idea being that we can weather these hiccups and still have plenty of work to be getting on with…

Roughly, we are going to take these next 6 weeks or so until the end of June to write and record at least another 3 track demo. Come July, we hope to do a good run of shows, wind up the propaganda machine and make some noise before disappearing for the summer…

In between tanning our balls, sipping over-priced booze and catching the flus off of aeroplane air-conditioning, August and September will hopefully see us record some 8 tracks or so (all the demoed tracks + a couple more) to a release quality level…

Then we’re on about putting these recordings out in some form or another and focusing on gigging through the winter… hopefully to emerge in the spring with a bit more of a platform to do more recording and releases…

While not set in stone, this is nonetheless ‘The Plan’ and although Serendipity is fickle and sometimes cruel, she is alluring and seductive and rewards those that court her with ambition and overt acts of sacrifice to her honour…

...roll the dice…

b!x